


Retrospect

by SlimeQueen



Series: One by One [7]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: ?? almost??, Character Study, Growing Up Together, M/M, Slice of Life, just mark being a dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 15:02:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,298
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16098083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlimeQueen/pseuds/SlimeQueen
Summary: Mark comes to the realization that he loves Donghyuck in bits and pieces.





	Retrospect

**Author's Note:**

> bet y'all didn't think i'd update THIS series today aha  
> Please don't repost my fics anywhere without my permission!

Mark knows he’s weird. Sometimes he can’t quite follow along with what the teacher’s saying in class and sometimes he can’t pronounce certain words correctly. He doesn’t like kimbap like the other kids and his official name on the registrar is _Mark_ instead of Minhyung. He’d only been six when he’d moved away from Canada, but he’d gone back in the summers until his dad had passed away.

Johnny says he’ll grow out of being so self conscious about those things, but it’s not just that. In addition to all his weirdness, he’s also half a foot shorter than most of the kids in his grade, his glasses are an inch thick, and no one cares that he has the new Air Jordans because they’re a size too big and look like clown shoes on him.

And then there’s Donghyuck. Donghyuck, whose smile rivals the sun both in fierceness and luminosity. Donghyuck, who positively beams at him when Mark tells him he’s going to get braces instead of laughing like everyone else. Donghyuck, who grabs a hold of his hand and holds on tight whenever Mark’s having a bad day and needs someone to be kind to him.

Mark realizes he loves Donghyuck in bits and pieces. A small realization here and there. Donghyuck tucks a stray lock of hair behind his ear while they’re huddled together at the library under the guise of studying, excitedly whispering about the new episode of an anime Mark’s only halfheartedly watching to please his friends, and Mark notices, _oh, Donghyuck’s hair smells good._

Once, they’d slept under the stars in Jeno’s backyard, and Donghyuck had shifted so much in his sleeping bag that he’d ended up pressed against Mark’s side, and Mark realizes that the reason his fingers itch isn’t with the urge to push the younger boy away, but to pull him closer.

And so, with fragments of affection and broken memories of wanting to touch, to feel, to taste, Mark realizes that he loves Donghyuck with a passion that borderline scares him.

Sometimes Mark finds himself staring for a bit too long. He’ll be taking in the smooth slope of Donghyuck’s nose, the way his eyelashes splay out, spiky and dark, and Donghyuck will wave a hand in front of his face to get his attention back, laughing, “Are you okay, hyung? I know I’m handsome, but you don’t need to be so ditzy.”

High school is better and worse. Mark finally gets the growth spurt he’s been waiting for his whole life, figures out what he’s good at (basketball) and what he’s not so good at (telling Donghyuck he’s in love with him). The differences that had made him stand out so starkly in his childhood make him cooler now. The other kids love pointing out the way his name is stitched in English on his uniform jacket, keep asking him to say things in English with his strongest American accent and giggle excitedly over it.

Donghyuck screws his face up, asks in an obnoxious voice, “What’s so good about his accent? I could do that too, if I tried sounding arrogant like he does.” And then he does some awful impersonation of Mark’s voice that makes Mark laugh so hard his stomach hurts.

Donghyuck also changes in high school. He trades in his track shorts for tight jeans, his goofy smile for a laugh like chiming bells. What stays the same, though, is the way he treats Mark.

Not with the fragility Johnny and his mother look at him with sometimes, especially around the anniversary of his dad’s death, and not with contempt or envy like some of the other kids. Not even the strange reverence some of the kids do when they find out he’s foreign. To Donghyuck, he’s always just been _Mark Lee_ , who hates wearing his glasses to school on days he’s too lazy to put in contacts, who drinks green tea every morning because his dad used to, who misses quiet snowy days in Vancouver sometimes to the point where he can’t bring himself to get out of bed.

Donghyuck teases him easily, defends him just as much, and can sometimes just _tell_ how Mark’s feeling.

The first time Mark realizes Johnny was right about growing out of it is when Donghyuck kisses him for the first time.

It’s sloppy and more spit and teeth than lips, but Donghyuck pulls back, eyes bright with a fire that makes Mark’s blood turn to lava in his veins, and he says, “Don’t you know I like you, you idiot?”

Their relationship is, in Mark’s humble opinion, sometimes _too_ easy. He’s only really dated Yukhei before this, but being with Donghyuck is as natural as breathing. They’ve always been close, but the newfound sense of intimacy only adds to their closeness. Donghyuck isn’t an awkward person by nature the way Mark is, so where Mark falls short, Donghyuck goes the length and covers for him.

What surprises him is the new side of Donghyuck that he finds as their relationship gets more serious. The apprehensive, almost shy side of him. The Donghyuck who blushes when Mark rests a hand on his thigh high enough to be just short of innocent. The way he makes a tiny mewling noise that stops Mark’s heart on the spot and restarts it with a hard thump while they make out one rainy afternoon in Mark’s room.

If anything, Mark loves getting a reaction out of him.

The first time he says the word that really gets under Donghyuck’s skin, it’s casual, thrown out of his mouth before he even realizes its impact.

“Do you need a ride home, baby?” he asks absently after a particularly late study session, reaching for both his keys and hoodie at the same time.

“Hyuck?” He’d asked again, when there hadn’t been a response. He’d turned to the other boy to find him blushing furiously, blinking like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“Shut up,” Donghyuck had snapped as Mark’s mouth had dropped open in realization. “Shut up, shut up, shut-“

Mark had silenced with him a kiss that left them both breathless.

It’s not bullying, no matter what Donghyuck likes to whine. There’s something so pleasing about making composed, one-step-ahead-of-you Donghyuck so flustered. Mark likes to think it’s payback for all the years of secret pining where Donghyuck made Mark’s life difficult with his easy grins and soft teasing.

Heck, Donghyuck still makes Mark’s life difficult sometimes. It’s what he does best, he proclaims with a proud smile. Mark can’t argue, not when Donghyuck constantly makes Mark’s heart want to beat right out of his chest.

Especially with the most recent development in their rollercoaster of a relationship. Donghyuck climbing right into Mark’s bed when he’s half asleep and declaring his love for Mark.

At first, he’s almost sure he’s dreaming. He’s had weird dreams featuring Donghyuck before, mostly weird in the sexy way, some weird in the anxiety fever-dream way, but when Donghyuck talks some nonsense about Mark’s brother and finishes it with the words, _I love you_ , Mark’s sure he’s either still asleep or has died.

There are times when it’s almost too much. Does he deserve to be this happy? Does he deserve Donghyuck’s love and his soft kisses and his gentle hands when he runs them through Mark’s hair? What has he ever done to make the most beautiful boy he knows fall in love with him?

Then Donghyuck will look at him with eyes full of affection and say, “I can see the smoke coming out of your ears, hyung. Whatever you’re thinking so hard about can’t be nearly as important as you think it is.”

Mark smiles, comes back to reality, and says, “It’s plenty important.”


End file.
